It's Magical

- a post from a friend -

Was it an enormous wind that hit us, was it the promise of a lifetime that hit us, was it love?

I dare say yes… the promise to be together is a moment of a lifetime.. the moment to be together gives you the jitters, the excitement, the joy, the laughter or even the stuff that you together laugh at but in the deepest recesses of your soul it wasn’t laughable at all.. its just that you too understand the same language, the same brains, the same hearts… God, it’s really exciting..

The heart beat pumps as if it will never end to fall in love. You buy stuff together, you choose stuff for the bedroom together… my gosh.. its mind blogging… it really is something you can’t comprehend… you try to think of it, and your brains can crack , explode and tell you… this is something magical, unexplainable, this feeling is a gift from God… a gift that he too feels for us…

I just realize that LOVE is everything..

thy love unbroken… sacred .. justified.. mystified..

it’s magic.

- anonymous -

Emotional Torture

it is the fear of the unknown which makes us feel so apprehensive. It is the fear of the things you don't know that makes your heart pumps so fast....

it makes you shiver when you feel so restless thinking about tomorrow. Thinking how you are going to face tomorrow while your heart is trembling and shaken. Never in our lifetime will you be able to face these things 101% with courage, but then, I realize, God is always bigger than our circumstances. Anyhow, we are just human beings encouraged to make mistakes, encouraged to feel such fears... so that these unknowns maybe be explored, right there and then we will learn.

Its just that, i fear that one day i die without the world hearing what I want to be listened for... without the love of my life hear what I have always wanted to live for ... that is to live for him til the rest of my life.. and that i do things for him.. not for me...

dang love, makes you so weak...it makes our life turn upside down.. exciting, hurting, but sweeter... :p

just thinkin' about it is an emotional torture ?

Chances

For quite some time I believed that giving chances will never worth it. I have thought about it several times and promised myself to not to give 2nd chances to people who have hurt me or people who never deserve some chance at all.

Chances are mysteries that you wouldn’t know unless you try it. Chances are opportunities that when you miss you cannot make up in time. Chances are bits and pieces of the whole life we have.. its life that we make, relationships, friends, time, money, not failures, not mistakes.. it is the chance of love that only the inevitable can fathom.

Chances that only the two of you can comprehend because you have a life together apart from the world…

Chances, so complex but simple. So scary but sweeter than thorns.

Chances.. i so love saying that word! Chance is all it takes to prove to the world that people change for good. *i hope

J

How would you know?

How would you know that you have chosen the perfect partner?

How would you know that the person you are with is someone you would be with forever?

we don’t know, unless we try it ourselves..
unless we try to be with that person..
unless you keep that CHANCE to be inlove and get to know that person..

you would’t find answers to these questions.

My friends told me that settling down with someone you love is something you never planned overnight. In fact, it takes plenty of courage to settle down and start a whole new life with him or her.

I would like to quote a line from Don Miguel Ruiz, a teacher, and I quote “The only way to know love is to experience love, to have the courage to jump into the ocean of love, and perceive it in it’s totality. Once you experience love, you can’t find the words to explain what you feel, but you see love coming from evryone, from everything, from evrywhere”

Maybe love, as what many believes in, is all around. It is us who take some love and use it for our own purpose.. to give it and receive it at the same time.. leave it when we are hurt and take it again if we feeli like it.

Love, how would you know then if you are in love?
scary buy sweet..

The missing piece..

I have never felt sooo relaxed but now.

I just feel the breeze of being someone else’s possession.. the feeling of being loved makes me feel so so special… gosh.. am i going back on 4th grade? na ah… i just feel that love has hit me again… there are times that we feel that we are in love but we are not.. there are times that we force ourselves to love but we can’t….

But now, mind you, the jitters, the smiles, the sound of the morning, makes me feel so alive again.. ?? oh well i dont know what else to say…

my breath falls, my heart stops beating, i can see you from here…

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours - Jason Mraz

*i have been thinkin about something to write for months, i never thought that this is the piece i have been waiting for… YOU.

life is about relationships

I can still see the smiles we had this evening, I can still hear laughters echoing the walls of Don henricos, I can still smell the pizza and pasta.. gosh! i missed my friends...

If we want to have a happy life then we should give time to people who makes us happy..

I love it when we talk .. we're like mature people walking with our Grade 1 brains laughing about little things ... it may be no sense at all but it matters to each one of us... the feeling of being together has always make me feel so loved and special.

I realized that giving time to people we value a lot strengthens that LOVE which makes every person feel the "BELONGINGNESS" . It 's like they serve as your support group in matters concerning every aspect of your life... Every opinion counts, every tear matters, every smile is important and every penny is worth nothing compared to being together .... just together.. sitting at the corner of Starbucks laughing out loud...

gosh... i am super blessed with these friends, so blessed that I want to be with them again ... soon.. If I'd be given one wish, Id ask God to give me this SAME life again... oh yes! I can picture it, my family and friends who made me who I am now.. Same old life, toxic but sweet.....


:) life is about relationships.... yes it is...

J

Lost and Found

25 long years of being lost.

Today is my birthday. I used to think that I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I used to tell myself that I don’t know who I want to become in the next few years to come. I remember vividly, how my English professor asked me and left me in awe,- yes until now - about this question which you might have heard a lot of times. She asked - in a mock interview – in preparation for our first job application, “How do you see yourself 10 years from now?”, of course I answered confidently, ( I was 18 years old back then) “I see my self as one of the executives of one the biggest companies in the Philippines. I’d probably have my own family, married to a loving husband blah blah.” Gosh, I can’t believe I said that haha.

We picture life as something ideal and perfect.” Life” could never ever be one perfect world with people like us who are imperfect. We will keep on missing the shot and made a slip. It is just a matter of what we do with that slip and how we move forward

I am not one of the executives of one of the biggest companies in the

Philippines

but one day, our company will be, and one day, I will be one of the biggest names in the country. Too big for a dream eh? No, I believe that dreaming big does not define our confidence or courage. Dreaming big defines a pure heart who wants his life a lot better than the life before. A heart that is full of substance. A heart full of hope…..

I will never say I am lost again. I maybe once, lost., but not anymore. In my heart I know what I want to do, that is, to fulfill God’s mission through me. I want to make every person’s life I meet to be different. I want to bring a difference in everything that I do. I want to leave a notch in every person’s heart. I want to be remembered as someone who brought God once in their lives.

My existence, in these 25 years is not enough to fulfill my dreams, at the time of my death, these dreams might not reach a hundred and one percent fulfilled, but at least, I am confident that I have started to become a victor.

As Andrew Carnegie puts it - The position a person occupies in the world depends on the quantity and quality of the service he render plus the mental attitude which he relates to others.

When everyone would falter, I will conquer.

Jendee S. Sapo

Marketing Executive and Training Coordinator

Techfactors Inc.

www.techfactors.com.ph

----------

Happy Birthday to me!… I am super blessed with family and friends who remember my day. God be with you all.. I will never find another imperfect life with imperfect ones but loving and caring as you..

I have found myself.. at last…

J

birthday wish list

harhar araw ko to walang kokontra..
"the other side of me"

1. ipod touch
2. starbucks na libre kape for 5 long days, ok na skin un.
3. new pair of pants (ung di ako bibli hahaha)
4. bagong phone kung pwede pag wala ok lang din, wala pa kasi bumibili ng universal ko
5. kapeng barako
6. Oil paint
7. new set of paint brush
8. books ni David Bach
9. One minute manager
10. Harry potter series na books at DVD
11. New laptop bag (ung hindi din ako bibili hahaha)
12. Easle para pag mag paint ako
13. Digital Camera (para di naman ako kawawa minsan haha)
14. Sana may mag sponsor sakin sa mga seminars ko for the whole year haha
15. parang gusto ko mag cross stitch hahah
16. bumili ng gamit pang tattoo, ako mag p-paint heheh
17. iphone
18. Shopaholic series ni Sophie Kinsella
19. Sex and the City DVD
20. Confessions of a Shopaholic DVD
21. Mountain Bike hehehe para pag tinatamad ako mag LRT hehehe jk. pang sports center lang..
22. mag out of town
23. galing kc kami DREAMS sa galleria nung sunday, parang gusto ko mag gantsilyo ahaha
24. gumawa ng maraming chocolates, donate nio skin pamimigay natin sa CRIBS sa industrial valley
25. Wisdom :)

oh well, im turning 25 in 48 hours.. grr.. i can't believe it, feels like im only 15? hehehe

so there, welcome to my materialistic world.. this is the other side of me,, i am a gadget freak and an artist.. in my 25 years I have come to love and learn the way God wants me too.. I owe everything to him... thank God I am still alive hehehe

so much to do... so little time..

ay birthday nga pala no kala ko christmas na eh kaya may wish list ako hehehe :)

The best is yet to Come....

Many of us are so impatient with asking the Lord to grant us the dreams we want. Until we become tired of asking that we end up not asking God with what we want.

Yesterday was mother's day and just like a mother who waits for 9 months for her baby to finally say hello and get out of her womb.... a mother who tries not to show an impatient breath of waiting and aches at the back in carrying her child for 9 long months..... Us, on one hand, waits until such a dream comes true... we choose to not to show the pains and labor of waiting or the worse, stop and give up.....

just yesterday, we were on our way home when my niece, asked about a resort in norzagaray bulacan. We were just curious how it looks like or if the place is just right for a weekend get away with the family. We went straight to the resort, not knowing how far it is from marilao. The sun is directly pouring its strength on us that we want to jump outside the car and get some fresh air instead of the aircon. I was listening to the step up 2 soundtrack and finished it and we were still on the road,...

we waited..... we saw several signages telling us to drive some more.. and more... we were really frustrated that we told ourselves that the resort should be some place we picture on our mind... a place with fresh air, a place to dive in for the hot Summer....


we waited...
and waited..
and waited.... it has been 2 hours of driving...

Until, a huge, old church welcomes us at the end of the road.. it was a very solemn place with structures telling us that its older than any of us... looks like it has been there since the Spaniards' times...the joy that God puts in my heart leaps... and I can't say anything but "God, its always worth the long wait..."

If it is not about this resort we were curious about, we could never ever find this church in norzagaray bulacan. I realized, that in life it is always worth to wait for Gods greatest blessings , he will surprise you at the right place, at the right time...

God knows best..


and the best is yet to come.... :p

Life is crazy , but sweet..

Everyday is a battlefield. Everyday we'll fight for our dreams, and if something happens, and this thing is deviating from our dreams, we feel frustrated, disappointed, depressed....

Whenever I feel the blow of the wind, i feel such an inner peace, a feeling that I belong to no one, but God. I belong to his plans. Thus, placing everything before God...Entrusting our life to the one who made us takes a lot of faith... yes, it does. It is always easy for us to say, we trust him, but deep inside, we are afraid, apprehensive,, doubting...

It feels like we are in a jar, contained for the rest of our lives battling to get some air to breath... and we always forget to ask for help... we fail to trust God , we fail to ask him ... we keep on doing the same things everyday, while the top of the jar is open.... we don't try to ask for help, so that someone can pull us up and catch the breath of abundance..

Life is crazy,. but sweet... Life is half empty but it really is full...

Everyday I stretch myself to get a seat at the MRT, and whenever I hear the sound of the train, people around me would bump each other just to get inside the train as quick as they can... they don't even think about the other doors open.. wide open..

Life is crazy but sweet... life is half empty but full... it's a matter of choosing what is outside of the box and asking ourselves.. what's the wisest thing to do?

Today is FRIDAY , but SUNDAY is coming. - March 20, 2008

yep! today is Friday but Sunday will come. Many times in our lives we have failed or people failed us one way or another... then keep it in ourselves and hold on to our past and we can't let go and move on to what is ahead of us.... This year's holy week had renewed my faith with Jesus Christ. I learned that all battles are always in favor of us, all these circumstances are always big blessings to us...

I have been with different people for the past two days and feel so blessed because I feel the love of God through these people so humble and trustworthy that I can pour myself to them. I gained friends too! Got Sir Larry Gamboa his autograph also hehehe he was one of the retreatants - he is a very good friend of bro. bo - TIta Marissa, the director of anawim was there too and she made me and my cousin laugh all the time because of her sweet humor, very natural sense of humor indeed.. the kind of humor with a substance mind you. A friend who will lead us to starting blessing the elderlies through ANAWIM foundation in MOntalban Rizal, and many many others who had made the retreat a very successful one.

I've contemplated on a lot of things about my life, about being a servant of the Lord. THese things might not fit this page though hehehe but to summarize it all... I now believe that I am God's CHampion and created to become a great person. It's about me becoming bias to "action" (execution) or let's just say it's a matter of doing something about my life.. It's time to bring substance to it and take it to the next level.. becoming a servant and instrument of God's love..

Whatever past i have, it was my FRIDAY, but hey! SUNDAY is coming....

have a blessed holy week.. :)

Night Market - March 8, 2008

madilim, maingay..maliwanag,tahimik.
tumutulo na ang pawis ko sa paghugot
mahirap, masakit, mainit.. "aray!" nasugatan ako.

mabigat, madulas, mainit , lalamig, amoy bulaklak pero maalikabok
mawawala, bibilis ang pag bukas ng zipper,... manong, sira ata to?

(sa cagayan) "pila ne? wala na bang tawad" - hay sa wakas! naka kita din ako ng bag sa ukay ukay.

A journey of Life - MRT - March 5, 2008

The current are running through its tracks... sounding like crashing everyone who tries to jump onto it..

The rails are magnet forcing you to jump and free yourself from the curses of encounters...

The doors will open and one by one the droplets of your sweat will pour your whole body until you'll see yourself standing and shaking while the train's moving to the other end..

No space for you to sit on, no space for you to breathe..

The santolan station so empty... until it reaches the other end - Recto - FULL...

The train's wheels screeches like mad fire trying to catch the mistakes of the past, though the train's walls will tell you, that whatever you miss in direction, you cannot make up on time.

At the next station - Katipunan - I Heard the voices of people around me.. different smiles, different frowns, different smells... all are busy with their own lives trying to sew the pieces of themselves together... everything that they've left on the rails were pieces they have tried to forget. Hence, I can sense it... i can read their minds.. and it stroke me like wild fire...

A bolt thumped me, I have to step down the train.. I realized that I have made my life meaningful, and I wanna leave the tracks with a happy face and a content soul...

Leaving all the madness, leaving all the pains.. I'll start a new life.. and will find someone at the end of the train.. and together, we'll baste the tracks of heaven called..........


LIFE.

Live, love again and conquer YOU - January 9, 2008

the world so vague, so helpless, so sick will find you
the roads shaken, rough and hollow will keep you
the heart so soft, pure and thirsty will be filled with love when I find you.

the soul conquers my heart
while thy heart lives by the love filled up by your endless caress
Its with love i found you.,
I will live, love again and conquer you.

--
for roy :p

2008 Extracted... I will change the world, one person at a time... - December 29, 2007

All these years i have been facing the walls of limitations..... Going back to the events that had happened in my life this year, including my near death experiences hehehe, still, I am bounded by limitations... Hence, these limitations are like bars in prison that can only be unlocked by no one but ME.

Yes, unlocking these bars means expanding my expectations... I don't want to dream anymore, I don't want to ask for something I'd really want to have for 2008, but I am claiming that I will have these dreams happen this year. I don't believe in new year's resolution though, well I did, but not anymore... I believe that changing our beliefs, our practices, changing ourselves can happen anytime of the year... 2 or 3 years of exploring what i want for myself could be enough, and I am looking forward to meeting the new ME... and explore the other part of myself, until I am receiving too much that I can give too much to those who need me, the poor, the sick, and the people who don't have any....

2007 has been a good year for me, yet, it is not enough for me to say that I'd have the best times of my life, I have the other half of my life to be filled in just yet, for the glory of God..... with all God's blessings to me and to my family in 2007, I am receiving my gift to be God's instrument, to inspire people, to lead and to succeed....

I will change the world, one person at a time...

L.E.A.P - November 6, 2007

The thing a hate the most is BLAME. The thing that makes it worse is the FLAME of blame. I need to shout the hatred, the anger, the angst, the cancer of rudeness and immorality of people. These are the things that makes me feel so helpless. You wouldn't know who to trust when people start blaming you with something you never commited. You wouldn't know who to trust when people start blaming you just because of this epidemic attitude of blaming without even knowing what the real situation is..

All I care about is MY POWER TO CHOOSE.. MY POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE and I choose to just take grasp of their necks and slash it till they'd never say a single word and stop becoming a slave of miserable people who would never ever become unselfish of the world.. coz all these people care about are themselves... they'd never see the big picture, they'd never want to make a difference ... they will never ever do make a difference so I WILL MAKE THE BIG LEAP...

*crashed and burned....

Sink or Swim - August 30, 2007

hmm, it's been a long time since I last blogged. At some point, I actually miss it. hehehe.

It's been a busy life with me since June07 and I hate to admit I am enjoying it. ;) I might have changed over the past weeks though but changed on a greater perspective.. I just feel that I always have a choice... a choice how to live everyday of my life. As I deal with different kinds of people, I realize how people differ much with each other. And these differences make me feel really unique. I appreciate more how God created me. I am now attending bible study which I hadn't had a chance to do back then. I have more time with my family, more time to sleep at least, more time to use my talents, more time to learn. maybe less logging into friendster heeheh but that's ok, I have more important things to do anyway. I just miss my old life, that's all, but no plans of coming back because I have moved on much that I now see the importance of me contributing to the world... I can't say just yet how I could contribute largely to the world, but all I know is that, my new journey is to serve and be of great source of potential for the country to help no one else but the my fellow Filipinos. I don't speak like a pro filipino eh? hehe just want to express the idea of US, Filipino youth making a difference anywhere we go.

thanks to Markprof. The org taught how to fight all the indifferences and make the best out of everything.

www.markprof.org>>> application on-going :)
If you think you could be considered as one of the top25 marketing management trainees of the philippines 2007... just log on to the site and, send an application, then you decide you sink or you swim?

Passion of FIre - June 16, 2007

People would ask me, what keeps you fighting? or what are you passionate about?

I don't know for some but, recently, just recently, I realized how far earning and learning differ from each other, I realized that the only thing that keeps you fighting is keeping that PASSION burning.....

If you are really passionate about something, and you really love serving and doing such a mission, you're on the right track. The youth, like us, so brave and aggressive are still immature and yet still not ready to face life. Why? Coming from a standpoint of a youth, who needs to earn big bucks to support the family, it is a battle between life and death if this "young" would want to resign from a multinational company, he is in fact letting his whole life die. Yet with the grace and wisdom of the Lord, I cross the bridge of life and death, resigned from an outsourcing company and battle heads on with the big fishes of the IT industry... I can say, I am HAPPY, finally.

The satisfaction of career, relationships and life is here. I can't imagine how my life could be fighting without a mission. I would not want to generalize our young employers, everyone has their own mission, but my point is, as soon as you find this mission, keep the fire burning because it is the same fire that could make you happy for the rest of your life.

God bless us all!

Good Bye and Hello World?! - May 15, 2007

Admit it.. one of the most difficult things to do is saying goodbye to the people whom we had cherished more than half of our life.

Before I knew it, I was moving to another company. Never did I say a word to most of my friends at my previous job that I am indeed moving and taking the big leap in my career, not until my boss, announced it. It was a day before I took my terminal leave.

I tried not to cry because I don't want people cry just because I am leaving, I don't want them cry because this decision is something I would carry on and I would be happy with for the rest of my life.. Thus, would make me a new person.

As I move towards the door, just right after my shift, it was like my legs are getting heavier each step.... I was telling myself that tomorrow I my hands are on a different door to open, a different chair to grab and take a seat on, I would be walking on a floor foreign to me. I would be talking to someone I would yet call a "stranger"..

I am excited but anxious , was asking myself of what's gonna happen next? All i know is that everything is new. From my wardrobe to workstation ..friends, food, car, lifestyle..

I don't really know what is in store for me just yet, but all I know is that, these are the bars i have been talking about in the past, the bars i had put on to cover the talents I have,, and now i am free.. hello world! watch out for me! =)

Behind Bars - Apr 27, 2007

Since last monday, I started to read lots of books.. Good Lord! I am done with 2 books. I am done with Francis Kong's Just When You Think You Can't Do It, Brother Bo Sanchez's 8 Secrets of the Truly Rich People. And right now, I am reading Francis Kong's Three Little Words, Blue Ocean Strategy by W.Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne and reading Purpose Driven life for the 2nd time..

Hmmm reading helps me reflect on life.... There is only one life given to us.. unless we're called cats hehehehe... we would have 9 lives... I thought I can't read a lot of books for just a week.. see, when we say we can.. that's gonna happen. We set goals to achieve what we really want in life. Like what Bro. Bo said, we attract the universe.. and I am claiming it.. I will get what I want, of course, with the right purpose, God will grant me all the things I want life to offer me.

I realize that the only thing to make us out of the shell or the so called "comfort zone" is grasping the ambiance of courage.. we have to leap out of the bars that limit us... and who limits us? ourselves.. we set the bars....

Life is a game and we are expected to perform, we have to use it wisely and live simply to serve the Lord and give back all the his blessings to our brothers and sisters...

Life is a game where we know who the players are and we know how to deal with it.. it's just that the game field has bars that we set, unless we remove the bars, we could transfer the game field called eternity... simplicity and abundance.

Live life to the fullest!

jen - ProLIFE -